


the music box

by pana (panaceaa)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Haru is too good for this world, Light Angst, M/M, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, because I sure do, ever date Haru in game and still say shuake is canon, haru-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panaceaa/pseuds/pana
Summary: Haru thinks her boyfriend might be in love with her father's killer.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Okumura Haru & Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 34
Kudos: 274





	the music box

Haru doesn’t remember much about her mother.

What she does remember consists of scattered fragments of half-faded memories, all too blurry and faded from both youth and time. She’d been young when her mother died, barely older than five, and now one of the only things Haru has left of her is a music box she’d given to her shortly before her death. An antique to be specific. Complete with a cherrywood finish and a small ballerina in the center who’d spin to the little wind-up song.

After her mother died, Haru spent a lot of time watching that little ballerina. She kept the box front and center on her bureau and made sure to dust it every day.

Over time the soundbox got a little distorted from overuse, but Haru never complained because it reminded her of her mother. And that’s all that really mattered.

It wasn’t until years passed that Haru started to wonder if maybe the reason her mother had bought it in the first place was because it reminded her of Haru herself.

She never liked that thought very much.

***

A lot of times Haru can’t help but think about palaces.

It’s probably a side effect of having gone through so many of them. She’d ask Akira, but well-

Well, she’d rather avoid bringing up old memories. Probably for the best. They’d been dating going on two years now, and they’d only recently decided to move in together since Akira graduated high school. And really, who was she to go and ruin the aura of calm between them? Things were...nice. Pleasant.

But all that aside, she thinks that if she had a palace her treasure would probably be her music box. It’s not something she necessarily likes thinking about, but she knows that if a palace suddenly formed around her she wouldn’t be surprised to see that manifest as her greatest distortion.

Akira’s hypothetical treasure on the other hand, is even easier to guess.

Haru knows how to play oblivious, but she’s far from stupid. So, it goes without saying that she knows exactly whose glove Akira carries around with him everywhere he goes.

She’s curious as to how he got it and how it came to carry such a grand amount of significance in his life. But she never asks him about it.

That probably makes her a terrible girlfriend. Akira never openly talks about himself, he always carries his problems close to his heart and it requires a certain amount of prying to get anything out of him. Haru knows this, and yet she never asks him about the glove. Never brings up Goro Akechi. Never brings up the fact that she knows Akira may or may not still have feelings for the person who murdered her father.

Maybe that makes her selfish, she doesn’t really know.

What she does know is that Akechi-kun is dead. He’s dead and she’s not all that upset about that fact, and she thinks that maybe that makes her an awful person.

It’s not that she ever wished for his death. No, wishing something like that is beyond her. It’s more akin to the feeling you get when knowing a friend of a friend died. Someone distant, someone you never got the chance to know. Of course, that probably isn’t the best comparison since Akechi was both her teammate and father’s murderer, but the complication of the relationship makes it easier for her to maintain a certain degree of emotional distance. It’s easier to not think too much about him.

Everything that happened is in the past, and now she has to move on with her life.

...She just wishes that Akira could learn to do the same.

Instead she has to pretend not to notice the way her boyfriend always perks up at the sight of a very particular shade of brown hair, only to slump in defeat a moment later. Has to pretend that there’s no particular reason why Akira keeps a chessboard set up and immaculately cleaned, and yet never once sits down to play. Has to pretend to be completely unaware of the way he looked at _him_ during Maruki’s palace, and how Akira has never once looked at her that way.

She has to pretend not to notice a lot of things.

Of course, all of that comes to a sudden mind numbing halt on when _her_ eyes catch on hair that exact shade of brown. Every muscle in her body tensing up as she freezes on her side of the busy street and gazes into the unmistakable face of one Akechi Goro.

He doesn’t notice her as he continues walking in the direction opposite from hers, steps as quick and purposeful as they were when she last saw him over two years ago. Before he _died_. And yet, it was unmistakably, one hundred percent, _him_.

She could leave.

Through the silent panic, _that’s_ the first thought that crosses her mind.

She could pretend she never saw him, go home to Akira with the coffee-beans she’d been out getting and smile like nothing ever happened during her perfectly ordinary routine trip to the store.

Nothing would change. Just another rotation of the gears, a twirl to the wind-up song of her life. Maybe she was only ever pretending to have a rebellious heart. What was it that Maruki’s reality gave her? Her father back as she played the role of the perfect daughter, so easily ignoring the hurt, the pain, and the _truth_ that had remade her into a person she could finally be proud of.

She takes a deep calming breath.

Who was she kidding? She knows what she needs to do.

***

“Akechi-kun.”

Either her time as a phantom thief really made its mark, or Akechi was for some reason very off his guard, because not only was she able to shadow him down several city blocks, but when he turns to see her, his surprise is genuine.

“Okumura-san, what a pleasant surprise,” he says, and in typical Akechi fashion he does not in fact look pleased to see her at all. In fact, he looks a little like he’s trying to map an escape route out of the small cafe that he has unknowingly cornered himself in.

Haru moves a little more in front of the door for good measure.

“Why haven’t you told Akira you’re alive?” She asks him, for once not in the mood for pleasantries.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your-”

“ _Answer_ the question.”

His gaze instantly sharpens at her tone, and for a moment there’s an unspoken contest between their locked eyes. Akechi is the first one to surrender, looking away with an annoyed sounding sigh and crossing his arms in a gesture that seems more petulant than anything. Haru takes a deep breath and tries to stop the trembling of her hands.

“His life would be better without me,” Akechi says after another moment passes in silence. There’s something distinctly melancholy in his tone, soft in a way she’s never heard him. For a moment the walls fall, and in the next they’re right back where they were. “So there, are you satisfied now?”

However, it’s too late for Haru to be fooled. She’d seen the walls break and in that brief glimpse of undeniable longing, she learned all that she needed to know.

Akechi Goro cared about nobody but himself, and yet here he was willing to put _Akira’s_ happiness above his own.

Even if he had a backwards way of showing it, Haru now knows one thing with absolute soul crushing certainty.

“You love him too.”

She all at once hates the meekness in her tone, but it’s somewhat vindicated by the utter shock in Akechi’s expression before he has the chance to shove it behind his ever-present walls. As it were, his reaction only serves as further confirmation.

“Excuse me?” His voice is unusually high, more standard of the Detective Prince than the real Goro Akechi that he turned out to be. Haru almost wants to laugh, but if she did that then she might actually start crying and she’s _better_ than that. She will not cry in front of this man.

The worst part, she thinks to herself, is that she’s not sure if the second party in her accusation was referring to Haru’s love for Akira or...or Akira’s love for Akechi.

In the end she supposes it doesn’t really matter, both resonate the same. And she supposes both are a little responsible for the next words that come from her mouth.

“He kept your glove.”

Haru isn’t entirely sure what reaction that’s supposed to spark because she still has never asked Akira about it. But she knows as much as she knows anything that it meant something to the _both_ of them, and her suspicions are only confirmed when Akechi jerks like he’d been stabbed.

_Critical hit._

“What?” He asks, his voice coming out half choked.

“You act like you never told him you were alive to protect him,” she says, eyes growing glassy with unshed tears despite her best efforts. “But he never believed that you died.”

For a moment she’s met with silence. Akechi’s expression turns unreadable, he looks as if he’s lost somewhere far into his own head, before he quietly answers as if only to himself.

“I can’t believe that idiot kept it.”

“On his person, at all times,” Haru adds, and _oh_ apparently Goro Akechi could _blush_. That was an interesting development. “He never stopped waiting for you to come back, but then you never did.”

Akechi coughs into the bend of his elbow in an obvious attempt to hide his face. He doesn’t meet her eyes when he says, “You can’t tell me you honestly believe his life would be better with me in it.”

“Maybe not,” is her instant response. She pauses and knows her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “But I think he deserves to decide that for himself. Don’t you agree?”

And something distinctly bittersweet settles deep in her chest as after a moment, Akechi slowly nods and agrees.

***

Haru knows that Akira has always been good at reading people. That’s why she’s not at all surprised when after only one look at her, Akira immediately asks her what’s wrong and gestures for her to sit on the sofa beside him.

There’s a part of her that wants to come right out with her newfound information. Wants to spell ‘Akechi Goro is Alive’ in bold black ink in the air between them, and watch Akira’s reaction for the answer she’s looking for.

But there’s another part of her that knows that’s cruel. That knows as sure as she knows how to tend to a garden with tender care and patience that this too requires a certain degree of careful attention. She thinks that her choice has already been made, now she just needs to see this through to the end. With the _truth_ this time, no more lies or feigned ignorance.

So, she starts where their problems began. At the very beginning.

“When we first met you know I wasn’t exactly in the best situation,” she tells him, thinking of her father, and her disgusting fiancé, and how hopeless she had felt at the expanse of it all. “And then there you were,” she continues, smiling wistfully. “This spark of hope and rebellion, like you were one of those dark and mysterious heroes in the movies I used to watch. I felt like I owed you my freedom, and I still do feel that way.” She wipes at her eyes and with a broken laugh she adds, “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Akira puts a comforting arm around her shoulders without saying anything. It looks as if he’s trying to process all that she said, and Haru’s grateful for the lapse so she can get herself together.

“Haru,” Akira says after a minute. “Where is all this coming from?”

She laughs again, because really, she has no idea how to appropriately start this conversation and it only makes sense he’s confused.

“Akira,” she starts again slowly, trying to think of the best way to phrase what she needs to say. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think maybe that we’re really not what’s best for each other. I really did want us to be,” she continues, before Akira can say anything, “but maybe all along I was just building up this perfect fantasy of us and keeping you trapped with me. And when you love someone, you don’t trap them,” she finishes, maneuvering out from under his arm and giving him a smile. “You’re the one who helped me realize that.”

“...I’m not sure where this is all coming from,” Akira tells her, looking at her for once like _she’s_ the puzzle that needs to be solved. “But I think your definition of being trapped and mine are a little different.”

“You know exactly what I mean,” she says with a sharp look to accentuate how serious she’s trying to be. “Us being together, it’s been really nice. I love spending time with you, really! But there’s never been…”

“A spark?” He finishes with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, exactly!” She claps her hands together, excited that he’s finally starting to understand her point. “Oh and okay. so now I told you why I developed feelings for you, but would it be okay if I told you why I think you decided to date me?”

“Uh, sure?”

“Thank you,” Haru says, ignoring how undecidedly _unsure_ Akira seems at present. “You see, I think it was because people tend to see me as a compassionate and empathetic person, and you needed someone like that in your life. You felt betrayed and I was your answer.”

Akira blinks.

“What if I turned around and told you I just thought you were hot?”

“While flattering, I think we’d both be happier if you didn’t.”

“That’s fair,” Akira says with an uneasy smile. Rubbing at the back of his neck, he predictably tries for flippancy because trying to get Akira to talk about himself in a serious manner was always like pulling teeth. “Now, when you say _betrayed_...”

“Akechi-kun.”

Akira visibly flinches. “Oh, right.”

“Akira,” she says, softening her tone and placing a hand over his. “He was special to you, and you’d only just found out that he was planning to kill you. It must have been awful, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more.”

He shakes his head, disbelief prominent across his features. “Haru, between losing you dad, and the company, and your fiance I could have never asked-”

“But I should have,” she cuts him off, and he looks at her with widened eyes.

“What?”

Haru squeezes his hand and offers her best encouraging smile. “When you’re in a relationship with someone it’s important to try to talk things out with them, and help them. You were always happy to help me when I needed it, but I never returned the favor. I knew how much you were hurting over Akechi-Kun,” she admits, gaze dropping down to their hands, unable to meet his eyes. “And instead of talking to you about it I always just tried to ignore the issue. It was never fair to you.”

“Haru, look I should be the one apologizing-“

“No, you shouldn’t,” she sharply interrupts. Akira stops, stunned, but he was always putting everything on himself and Haru was _not_ having it. “You can’t help how you feel, and you’ve always done all you could to make me happy. You’ve been a really good boyfriend, Akira. I promise.”

“Thanks, Haru,” he says after another moment's pause, and she’s pleased to see that the smile he gives her is genuine. “For what it’s worth, Morgana is the only one who really knows.” He shrugs, “And that’s just because he was there through everything.”

“I know, and I’m grateful you have him to confide in.” She is, of course, almost one hundred percent sure that Morgana is somewhere close by listening in on this very conversation. Haru adored Mona, but he also had very little regard for privacy unless he’d been explicitly told to leave. But Mona wasn’t who was important right now. “You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable, but you...” Haru starts slowly, steeling herself for the one question she’d always been so afraid to ask. “...You have feelings for Akechi-Kun, don’t you?”

She watches as a war of emotions flicker across his face. Haru may not know Akira as well as she should, but she knows him enough to know that he’s caught between his natural instinct to deflect, and his desire to tell the truth. Because that was the thing with Akira, he was a master of deflection and awfully timed humor, but he was not a liar.

All she ever needed to do was ask him directly,

“Pretty pathetic, isn’t it?” He finally says, armed with a self deprecating smile and a shrug that screamed of fake nonchalance. “I guess they were always kind of there, but not like it really matters now, right?”

If Haru were to write a book on Akira Kurusu, it would fundamentally be filled with a lot of blank spaces and question marks, but there were a few things she’d learned over the two years she’d been dating him. Chapter one would consist of how to ask him things in a direct manner, chapter two meanwhile would be all about how likely he is to respond with a real answer.

The trick was, you had to make him think that the truth in his situation would be more beneficial. In this case, he knew Haru was being serious and was looking for honesty. Secondly, he thought admitting to having feelings for Goro Akechi would ultimately be meaningless because Haru thought he was dead.

In short, Haru could be ruthless if she wanted to.

“Akira, he’s alive.”

The way she says it is short and simple. No easing into it, no room for error. Not there was ever going to be a light way to go about this, especially judging by the way Akira looks as if the entire world just turned on its axis.

“... _What_.”

“I talked to him today. Met him in a cafe.”

“...What.”

“I only just saw him passing by on the street today, so I followed him until I managed to corner him!” Haru explains quickly, afraid Akira might be getting the wrong impression. “Please don’t think I was hiding anything from you!”

“I’m not…” Akira trails off suddenly looking a little pale. “He is _still_ alive right?”

Haru gives him her sweetest most innocent smile. “Oh goodness, of course! It was a very nice and civil talk, I didn’t even need to threaten him to stay.”

“That’s… good.”

“Mmhmm! He even apologized to me!” Haru continues on sunnily, not completely understanding the look Akira’s giving her. “Although it wasn’t a very good apology...but it’s the thought that counts!”

“Haru...”

The concern in his tone is something she does recognize, and so she puts a hand up to stop him.

“Akechi-Kun is...not my favorite person in the world, to put it rather lightly,” she says in the most gentle way she can manage. While she’s glad that Akira is worried about her, he has no need to be. She’s stronger than she looks, and it’s finally time for her to help him. “He did kill my father, and I think he could really benefit from some extensive therapy, but underneath... _everything_ , I don’t think he’s a bad person.” The honesty in her statement surprises even her, but she knows it’s true the moment the words leave her mouth. Knows it as truly as she knows this: “Akira, he really does care about you.”

Hook, line, and sinker.

“...Why are you telling me this?” His voice is suddenly very soft, a reflection of Akechi’s tone from earlier.

Haru smiles.

“Because Akira,” she stands up suddenly from her seat, placing her hands on her hips to accentuate her resolve. “I’m breaking up with you.”

For a moment Akira just stares at her, and in the background she’s pretty sure she hears a loud thump followed by a very dismayed feline yowl.

“...Have to admit,” Akira says slowly, “I was not expecting that.”

“Sorry!” Haru squeaks, clasping her hands over her mouth in mortification. “I’ve never broken up with anyone before. Was that okay? Should I start over?”

There’s another loud thump from the other room and Haru really hopes Mona’s okay. She’d have to go check on him later.

“Uh no,” Akira says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’m a little confused but other than that you’re doing great.”

“Sorry!” Haru apologizes again. She knew she should have practiced this more, she was never good with explaining things on the spot and she didn’t want to hurt or offend him. “I guess it’s just that our relationship has gotten really comfortable- which is great! But I’ve been feeling like something’s been missing for a while- and that’s not your fault! It was the both of us. And now of course Akechi-Kun is back and it’s very obvious you’re both still in love with each other-”

“ _Both_?”

“-And I also always wanted to try dating a girl.”

Akira blinks at her. “Oh, then you should do that.”

“Yeah!” Haru stands back and nods, pleased with herself. She’s pretty sure she covered just about everything and she’s never felt better! “Wow, that was really freeing!”

“I’m glad?” Akira says, and to her disappointment, he’s still looking a bit confused and not as excited as she’d thought he’d be. She was setting them both free, wasn’t that something to be happy about? “Haru, are you sure you’re okay?”

His concern makes her smile, even if it’s unneeded.

“Of course,” she tells him, sitting back beside him on the sofa and resting a gentle hand on his arm. She does allow herself a moment to really reflect, but if she’s being honest she doesn’t remember why she had been so afraid of this. Akechi coming back had only been the catalyst, but she knows with absolute certainty that she and Akira were never meant to be forever. There was so much more out there for them. “If I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through with this at first, but this entire experience has actually been very cathartic. You’re one of my dearest friends Akira, and you always will be. And I do love you…” she says slowly, nervous to finally put into words what she’d been feeling for a while, “...just more as a friend right now. Is that okay?”

He grabs her hand and pulls her into a tight hug that she instantly relaxes into. “Yeah Haru,” he tells her, “that’s okay.”

***

In all honesty, Haru’s aware it’s a very anticlimactic breakup. Then again, she supposes that they’re both very anticlimactic people. That was why they worked so well, and yet, was also how they somehow didn’t work at all. She doesn’t regret the relationship, she doesn’t think Akira does either though that’s not something she’s quite ready to ask him. What she does know, is that she wants Akira to be happy, no matter how that’s achieved.

And if the person who makes him happy is Akechi Goro, well she could manage that. She’s managed the business end of Okumura foods, the metaverse itself, and corrupt gods. So, suffice to say she thinks she can handle one ex-detective-prince with an image of rebellion that apparently looked like a black and blue candy-cane.

“Hey, Haru?” Akira asks her sometime later. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at his phone, as he’s been for the past ten minutes since she sent Akechi’s new number to his phone. And yes, she did of course check that Akechi had given her his correct number, she can after all be _very_ persuasive. “So, uh, question? What’s the first thing you text to your rival who disappeared for two years without so much as sending a text that he was alive?”

She thinks about this for a moment.

“Hmm, oh! I bet it would be much more romantic if you were to talk for the first time in person!” She grabs her phone from the table, suddenly very excited. It was always a bit of a dream of hers to play matchmaker with someone. “Let me set it up!”

“That’s not really-”

“Does tonight work for you?” She happily interrupts him, because she wanted to do this and he was _not_ taking this from her.

“Uh, yeah.”

“What time?”

“I guess, around 7?”

“Okay, and where would you like to meet?”

“Probably the Jazz Club in Kichijoji?”

“Okay!” With all of the information needed, she opens up a new text log between her and Akechi and types out a quick message.

 **Haru:** You’re meeting Akira at the Jazz Club at 7 tonight. Don’t be late. - Haru

He responds almost immediately.

 **Akechi:** 8 o’clock would be better.

 **Haru:** You’ll meet him at 7.

The incoming text ellipses appear and disappear several times before finally, Akechi responds with one single word.

 **Akechi:** Okay.

Haru flashes Akira her very best smile. “He said that works perfectly!”

“Right,” Akira eyes her a bit skeptically, but finally puts his phone down and rises from the table. “Okay well, I guess I’ll go get ready,” he tells her, but before he leaves the room he turns to her one last time. “And Haru, thank you.”

“Of course!” She smiles at him with all the warmth she has in her heart, and he returns the sentiment. It’s only once she’s left alone that she types one last message to Akechi.

 **Haru:** Oh and if you break his heart I’ll break all 206 of your bones <3

 **Akechi:** Noted.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really only supposed to be a drabble but then it turned into uh- this. There was also a definite lack of shuake content here, but I'll be sure to fix that with whatever I decide to write next! 
> 
> This is also my first time posting anything in this fandom so brief shoutout to my friends who are very amazing and supportive!
> 
> Any comments/criticisms are welcome!!


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